Sickness, Crawling, and Dating

This has been a fun and very eventful week! Tuesday I was still in so much pain with my sinus infection and because it was spreading into my jaw and teeth (and because my midwife checked in on me and urged me to get to the Dr. ASAP), I went to the Dr. and was put on an antibiotic. I am feeling almost back to normal and that is a huge comfort!

Natalia is now pretty consistently crawling on her knees! She's been scooting, rolling and army-crawling for a long while now, but is really beginning to enjoy her increased mobility by crawling on her knees. We're having to keep a constant eye on her to keep her out of trouble. She can have the coolest toys, but she always wants the things that make the coolest sounds, which are things that she just CAN'T have: plastic bags, poinsettia pot foil (and the leaves that my poinsettia drop on the floor), books, paper, etc.


We also had to upgrade her car seat. She outgrew her baby one a few months ago and the straps were getting tight so we upgraded to one of the safest on the market convertible car seats and she LOVES it! She's going to love it even more on her Birthday in 2 months when she can face forward and see what we see and have easier access to Mommy's attention - that is when Mommy is not driving! :0) But I think what she enjoyed most was playing in the box!



Josh and I have started an official date night, which we try to do on Friday nights. This Friday night we went to see a movie: The Tourist. I recommend it. It was very good! We also had a difficult time with our babysitter and are considering some other options for childcare in the future. My brother, Kendall, reminded me that doing a trade with other couples works well. Hopefully I can find some friends that are in a similar situation to us that would like to do a trade. It will also make it more affordable for us to be able to go out on dates. My wonderful mother and father volunteered to watch Natalia for us so we could take my newly returned missionary brother, Aaron, to meet Josh's adorable cousin, Amanda, and hang out Saturday night. She is leaving for the MTC this coming Wednesday (Feb. 9). We met up in Bountiful, had Subway sandwiches, bowled - where Josh won 2 and Aaron won 1 game (but I need to interject that the time that Josh didn't win I beat him!!! And that has never happened before!!!) We then went with Amanda to see her brother Aaron play Tevya in Fiddler on the Roof. He was absolutely amazing!! Then we stopped at a frozen custard place and had frozen custards and french fries with fry sauce (I bet you can guess who the fries were for, right?!?). It was such a fun night!!!

Newness

It's a new year - I realize that I'm writing that on the last day of January...but better late than never. I have so many good intentions that don't happen, but I am determined to do better and make them happen! We began just before the "New Year" organizing our lives, creating schedules and lists and I've been really good about sticking to it, except for the last two weeks. I've been so sick with a cold and sinus infection that I couldn't take antibiotics for and have been pretty incapacitated because of it. But I'm beginning to feel better and am ready to continue my journey of making my life more organized and accomplished! One of those things is to update my blog weekly! Even if there is just one line or just a picture, there will be something each week for the rest of the year! Now there's commitment!

A lot of change has already begun this year. Some I can share and some I can't till later, but change is such a good thing! Sometimes change is hard. We tend to fear the unknown. Change presents so many possible unknowns that it's easy to become fearful about change. But change helps us grow and become better if we will allow it. Josh has been doing a juice fast/cleanse since the beginning of January and will complete it on February 14. He's lost over 20 lbs and broke 200! It's amazing what can happen for us when we break our bodies down and learn to reprogram or recondition our brains! Fasting does that for so many people. They break their body down in going without food, become humble and teachable, and can learn, grow and gain so much insight! I'm so proud of him! It's not been easy, but it has been worth it!

Last week we welcomed home my brother, Aaron, from his 2 year mission to Rio de Janeiro, Brazil. He was a stellar missionary and I'm so proud of him. He loves the Brazilian people and it showed! It's wonderful to have him back. One of my favorite parts was being able to introduce him to Natalia. She's beginning to warm up to him and I love it!

Speaking of Natalia...she's getting SO big! WAY too fast for her mama! She's all over the place - rolling here and there and army crawling and scooting. She's going places! She claps and wrinkles her nose when she smiles or gets excited! It's SO cute! She's such a delight and brings so much joy to our family and in our home!

We had our SEP meeting with Hali's teacher last week. She's doing so well! She's so bright and loves math and reading and she's excelling at spelling. She's still working on behaving better. She's a social bug and a big talker. Hopefully she'll be able to master being social when it's appropriate and focus during class time. We're so proud of her though! She's doing awesome!

Here are a few of our latest pictures:

Our beautiful girls, Natalia and Hali

Tender Mercies

I'm realizing more and more that a lot of the struggles I get to experience have more to do with how I handle them and feel about them than the actual circumstances themselves. I'm constantly amazed at agency - the freedom to CHOOSE. I can't always control the circumstances of my life or situation, but I ALWAYS have control over how I FEEL and how I handle those circumstances. There are a lot of things in my life that I am inwardly conflicted about. I can't change those things. Some of them have nothing to do directly with MY life, but they have affected my life. It's unfair at how other peoples choices not only affect them, but also affect others. Choice, I have learned, is like throwing pebbles in a pond. The initial choice is made - the pebble in the pond - but it's consequences ripple out and affect not only the person who made the choice but all those who surround that individual. Even though I have the freedom to choose, I don't have the ability to choose the consequences nor whom those consequences affect. So even though it may, in theory, be MY choice, it doesn't affect JUST me, so it is selfish of me to make decisions that inversely affect others without taking them into consideration when making that choice. Another thing to consider is how some of those choices will affect people in my future - ie. spouse, children, etc. At times we make decisions that just get us through a difficult bump in the road or it was all we could do under difficult circumstances. Unfortunately those kind of choices have lingering consequences that affect future parties. For example, some choose to handle disappointment, discouragement, and depression with substance abuse, immorality, or with food. Those choices all have lingering effects, not only physical, but also emotional. The future party that then comes into your life gets to live with the consequences of those choices. I could probably go on and on...but I won't. So where do the tender mercies come in? I have learned and continue to learn how to deal with those consequences of others' choices that affect my life. I have no control over the circumstances and can't change the past, but I can choose how I feel about it. I have also leaned that if I handle those emotional difficulties with love and honesty, the outcome is one of understanding and love with no baggage to add to the future. I am learning to live in the moment. The past is something to learn from, but does us NO good to linger very long there because nothing in the past can change - it has passed. The future is something to look forward to, but it's always just ahead and cannot be held, acquired or touched. It always eventually turns into the present. Living in the moment is best - for it is the present, and that is a gift. And the tender mercies? Those are the experiences of healing from past wounds, circumstances and consequences made by my own choice and the affect of imposed consequences of others, as well as learning how to CHOOSE how I want to feel about everything in life. It all boils down to my agency - freedom to choose - and learning to live with the consequences in whatever way I want to. Attitude and choice are mine to make, and I choose to live with love in my heart.

A little white dress

There isn't anything quite as beautiful or as pure as a little girl in a white dress. Both of my beautiful daughters had the privilege of wearing beautiful white dresses both made by my amazing mother. Natalia was given a name and a blessing on July 4, 2010. I was so careful with her dress. I got her all ready for church except for her blessing dress, saving it until a few minutes before Sacrament Meeting to prevent possible blow-outs or wrinkling. Josh gave her a beautiful blessing. I was so proud of him! It's such a comfort being married to a worthy priesthood holder and know that he can perform sacred ordinances in our behalf. He's so cute about it too. He deeply desires to do everything correctly and gets nervous and worried about how to do it. It's all still so new to him. It filled me with peace, warmth and love to hear the beautiful blessing that was pronounced upon our beautiful Natalia. I dearly love my sweet husband!

Well...Natalia needed to be fed right after Sacrament Meeting - just before going to the park for a brunch. Just as she was done eating, she had a blowout in her dress! So I didn't have ANY pictures of her in her blessing dress on the day of her blessing. By the time I got the dress cleaned and ready for pictures, Hali's dress was nearly done. So I planned on having a photoshoot with both girls in their white ordinance dresses.

Hali was baptized a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints on her birthday, September 11. It was an incredibly special day for us all. She was thrilled to be baptized on her birthday! Right after being baptized as she was changing into her white dress for her confirmation, she kept saying, "I feel SO clean! I feel SO good!" She was positively beaming! She looked so beautiful in her white dress! I was so proud of her! I had been preparing her for that day since Josh and I had met. She came to my primary class and I had the opportunity of teaching her the Gospel and preparing her to be baptized and receive the Gift of the Holy Ghost. I didn't do it alone, of course. Josh was instructing right alongside me. She also had the wonderful example of our families, extended relatives, cousins, primary teachers and friends. It's hard when you only have the Gospel in your life part-time, but it seems that those examples, experiences, and lessons mean so much to her that they stick and remain with her.

We did a photoshoot at the Temple with both girls in their white dresses. I was SO relieved that Natalia still fit in hers! :0) I am waiting for the CD of pics - so as soon as I get them I will post them! I have seen them though and they are incredibly beautiful! As I looked at my beautiful girls in white at the Temple, my thoughts kept returning to someday having Hali sealed to us. I hope for that day. I long for that day. I pray for that day. And hope that sooner than later we will enter the Temple to be sealed as a WHOLE eternal family!

Summer's End

With school beginning, Autumn is in the air. We've had a really enjoyable Summer and have tried to do a number of fun things and travel (where possible) as much as we can. I've been horrible about taking pictures! And the crazy part is most of the time I have my camera with me - I just forget that I have it and to take pics! Josh is better than me about taking pics, and he gets them on his computer in a more organized fashion than I do, so it's easier to blog with pics when I can get on his computer to do it. Of course, if you know Josh, he's nearly always on his computer...so while he's enjoying his Sunday nap with Natalia, I am blogging and hoping to finish and upload pics before she wakes up!

Josh and I were able to get away for a weekend in June. We decided that we'd like to visit his dad and step mom and siblings in Emery. We chose to go to visit Moab for the weekend and head over to Emery on Sunday and go to Church with them. It was a wonderful weekend! A bit hot, but not overly uncomfortable! It was so nice to get out!!! Here we are in Arches National Park.

We absolutely love Huntsville, Utah! It's our dream place to raise our kids or at least retire to...but our favorite part of Huntsville is spending time with Grandma Wilcox! She is an absolute angel and our lives are so blessed and enriched just being in her home and presence! How we love her! We spent the 24th of July weekend with Grandma and went to the Ogden parade in the morning and finished out our day at Aunt Melanie and Uncle Roy's house for a barbecue potluck and swimming. What a great day!
My favorite part of this picture is that Natalia is already half Hali's size at 3 1/2 months! :0)

Greatest journey of my life!

Me & My Girls

Being a mother is SO many things! It's an absolutely wonderful, body and mind exhausting, challenging, but richly rewarding experience! I have been blessed with two beautiful daughters! As Hali puts it, "Natalia was born from your tummy, and I was born from your heart!" I deeply love them both equally. But given that for Hali I am a part-time mom and Natalia a full-time mom my attention is very split as is my energy. I work hard to be organized enough that, if I am able to, I get my major projects done on Mondays and Tuesdays when I don't have Hali so I am available to do "Mommy" things with her like play dates, swimming, picnics, the splash park, etc. or just be available to allow her the freedom to play with friends during the day and not be in Day Care - which is what she prefers. When Josh and I married it was important to both of us that I be a stay-at-home-mom. I began to scale back my studio and rescheduled the bulk of my students for Mondays and Tuesdays so that I could provide the experience of a stay-at-home-mom for her. I have NO regrets! Especially now that I am a full-time Mom, I enjoy the ability and peace of mind that comes from being able to be the one raising my daughter. Unfortunately in our society, women who stay at home and raise their children and don't work outside their home are looked down upon or thought of as lazy women who do nothing all day. They could not be more wrong and I would challenge anyone who thinks that to try it for a week. Being a mom isn't like working a job from 9-5 with breaks and freedom when you return home, it's a full-time, round the clock, 24/7, on-call, middle of the night, even if you're so tired your head might fall off, even when you don't feel good position. And when that kind of exhaustion creeps in and things feel discouraging and the thought of taking on a heavier work schedule (because I do still have students) begins to tempt me so that I'd have some extra money to be able to afford some luxuries given up by a tighter income and I begin to get discouraged at the 2 a.m. feeding, my beautiful baby looks me in the eyes and with all the love she possesses, she smiles at me and it melts away any doubt or bad feelings and all the sacrifice is more than worth it!


I am several weeks behind on this blog - the greatest part being that I have focused all my extra time getting Natalia's nursery put together, getting the yard in order, cleaning the house, etc. I will do my best to catch things up over the next several weeks! For Father's Day I did a photo shoot with my gorgeous girls by my amazing friend, Brooke Young, as a surprise for Josh. He said it was the best present ever! I most definitely (with all the bias I possess) agree! The pics on here are from that photo shoot. Natalia had just developed the ability to smile on cue! I treasure the look in her eyes as she smiles at me! I'm telling you - being a mom is the best job in the WHOLE universe!!!

Natalia Updated

It breaks my heart that I am SO far behind! My baby girl is now 4 months old! Here are some pics of her the first month! She used to be little! :0)

Here is her first bath

My sleeping beauty!

Hali sure loves her baby sister! (Now Natalia is half Hali's size! LOL)

Nap time with Daddy! These are the precious moments I treasure and cherish!