Tender Mercies

I'm realizing more and more that a lot of the struggles I get to experience have more to do with how I handle them and feel about them than the actual circumstances themselves. I'm constantly amazed at agency - the freedom to CHOOSE. I can't always control the circumstances of my life or situation, but I ALWAYS have control over how I FEEL and how I handle those circumstances. There are a lot of things in my life that I am inwardly conflicted about. I can't change those things. Some of them have nothing to do directly with MY life, but they have affected my life. It's unfair at how other peoples choices not only affect them, but also affect others. Choice, I have learned, is like throwing pebbles in a pond. The initial choice is made - the pebble in the pond - but it's consequences ripple out and affect not only the person who made the choice but all those who surround that individual. Even though I have the freedom to choose, I don't have the ability to choose the consequences nor whom those consequences affect. So even though it may, in theory, be MY choice, it doesn't affect JUST me, so it is selfish of me to make decisions that inversely affect others without taking them into consideration when making that choice. Another thing to consider is how some of those choices will affect people in my future - ie. spouse, children, etc. At times we make decisions that just get us through a difficult bump in the road or it was all we could do under difficult circumstances. Unfortunately those kind of choices have lingering consequences that affect future parties. For example, some choose to handle disappointment, discouragement, and depression with substance abuse, immorality, or with food. Those choices all have lingering effects, not only physical, but also emotional. The future party that then comes into your life gets to live with the consequences of those choices. I could probably go on and on...but I won't. So where do the tender mercies come in? I have learned and continue to learn how to deal with those consequences of others' choices that affect my life. I have no control over the circumstances and can't change the past, but I can choose how I feel about it. I have also leaned that if I handle those emotional difficulties with love and honesty, the outcome is one of understanding and love with no baggage to add to the future. I am learning to live in the moment. The past is something to learn from, but does us NO good to linger very long there because nothing in the past can change - it has passed. The future is something to look forward to, but it's always just ahead and cannot be held, acquired or touched. It always eventually turns into the present. Living in the moment is best - for it is the present, and that is a gift. And the tender mercies? Those are the experiences of healing from past wounds, circumstances and consequences made by my own choice and the affect of imposed consequences of others, as well as learning how to CHOOSE how I want to feel about everything in life. It all boils down to my agency - freedom to choose - and learning to live with the consequences in whatever way I want to. Attitude and choice are mine to make, and I choose to live with love in my heart.